There is no feeling quite like the sensation that you get when you are
truly in tune with nature. I have to admit, though, that nowadays that feeling
is getting harder and harder to re-capture. Due to everyone's sense of entitlement
regardless of the consequences, it seems that people nowadays are more concerned
with their personal agenda than they are with ascertaining the truth. This
narrow viewpoint, in and of itself, is a backhanded compliment to the greatness
of the principles of a democratic society. The inherent virtues of our society
are the same tools being used to denigrate the system by stagnant thinkers
and the less principled. This paradox of democracy, much like the paradoxes
of nature, allows those who aren't as strong physically, mentally, morally
and spiritually to survive and in some instances prosper. For a while.
Being in tune with nature is easiest when you are a child. It is at this
stage when you search for the simple truths in life. You are not jaded by
other people's prejudices yet, you are just trying to make sense of your
world. This was, at least, how it was for me as I was growing up. These
were the times when nature was my friend.
In the midst of my youth I'd ride my bike during those endless hot summer
days, park at the base of a gigantic, old weeping willow tree and climb
up into it's shade. While sitting there amid the trees gnarled branches,
I'd gaze out at the sky through the bushy, slender leaves lost in myself.
It was during one of these boyhood ventures that the concept of manhood
completely overwhelmed me. A sense of power surged through me followed soon
after by a sense of dread. The contradiction of this situation intrigued
me. I was in awe of the pure power of my masculinity yet I was afraid of
what could happen if it was misapplied. I remember thinking of how it would
be if I lived in an age or place where society wouldn't allow me to be a
man. I couldn't imagine myself behind bars with a gift as wonderful as this.
I thought of my ancestors who were also aware of this gift and the horror
and despair that they must have felt by not being allowed to exercise and
express this most basic of God-given rights due to the ignorance, tyranny,
and oppression of slavery.
I don't want to mislead the reader. While it is true that I was able to
heed the call of manhood, the person who enabled me to recognize it was
my father. Although he wasn't my biological father, he is my dad. As an
ex-orphan, I sometimes let my thoughts wander and think about the type of
person I might have become if it wasn't for this man's influence in my life.
The conclusions that I come up with are rarely positive.
From my early, formative years I remember having a strong sense of my own
masculinity but no direction. It was just as natural as breathing. At the
time it was something that I took for granted. As I grow older and (hopefully)
wiser, I realize how important an aspect my father was in my development
and how disastrous I could be if I had no guidance. As I mentioned before,
I was orphaned. Since I came from nothing with nothing I was dependent on
the kindness of strangers for my survival. As the fates would have it, I
survived, thanks to my foster mother, the state of Kansas and my adoptive
parents.
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Note: New Visions Commentaries reflect the views of their author, and not
necessarily those of Project 21.