12 Dec 1997 If Santa Claus Was an Environmentalist…

…Not even bad girls and boys would get lumps of coal in their stockings.

…Presents would be cut by seven percent below 1990 levels by 2010.

…Santa’s sleigh would be battery-powered to cut down on those nasty reindeer emissions that endanger our children.

…Christmas would be suspended in large portions of Oregon, California, Idaho, Florida, Montana and other states to avoid inadvertently disturbing current or potentially future wildlife habitat.

…Last year’s presents would be confiscated, re-wrapped and re-distributed as new as part of the North Pole’s mandatory recycling program.

-List compiled by The National Center for Public Policy Research’s Environmental Policy Task Force. New suggestions for this list are welcomed at [email protected].